Bart's Burgers: Day Two: I guess nobody ever really done me

its a plot with no past


he landed it with good tre before this was filmed
there is no past to his plot, simply to kill mikey and val for no reason very strange

Mikel Miranda in hiding

Why am I never on the GB blog?

"I love Malden; don't quote me on that, bro." -Tom Tweak of Yankee Power

GB Company Car

The post we have all been waiting for.

No caption can really encapsulate the true radness of this photo

Absolute Chaos

My little Hell-raiser, Nick.

How to write a skate article about billy d

1. Intro – the most important news aspect of a skate event is the score. Who won? How did they win and what effect did the victory have? Also important is whether we are writing from a JRO perspective or a Billy D one. In this case, we will go with Billy D.

“Billy D landed a bs flip over the faux grass gap out through the ghoulish threshold bump/exploding run-up. JRO "certainly second" the first to attack the 5ft tall 9 foot long gap, is a savage. ”

2. More info – The above is enough for those who have a passing interest in the skating. However, skateboarding fans would want more information and you could give it to them in one or two paragraphs.

“The Boardwalk contest was without star skater Colin Fiske, suffering from a keyboard injury on some eggs of ego shit"

3. Quote – This is where you can provide a quote from a lurker or some dude. You can precede each saying with a lead-in paragraph or go straight into the quote.

Billy d was overheard saying "JRO was looking strong until the ground blew up under him after crossing the slough of despond" that's what we in the chutes and ladders business call a backslide...sheesh" strong though, he's always good competition, looks like he's been cycling some dball like arty over there, sitting on his stack of books."

"yeah and another thing..." said D Williams distractedly to someone one night at a party at 3am after a few beers"

4. The rest – Once you got the main information and key quotes out of the way, you can go on to describe the some random shit. Even better would be to describe just one or two tricks, the results and include more rubbish.

JRO was the first person to skate the gap. There were 100 people there. The food was free.Nate Reilly ate chips in a hot dog bun. JRO landed a kickflip. Tmac was almost sued once by this chick I knew from LA. There was a fake ass filmall skating. Pud was killing it. Filho noseblunted the box. The boardwalk is great. Everyone should skate the mini and give matty the greek a pound. no homo

Results:

1st place: billy d malden frontside miller flip over the gap

2nd place Jro/tom tweak frontside slappy the gap

3rd place tmac wheel-less ollie the gap

4th place GRATUITOUS arty the greek! the gap

5th place Butchie frontside big harold the barrel (circa workshop) spin the gap

6th place matty the greek why the hell not it's his shop the gap

7th place Ryan fay inimitable walk-over to the gap

8th place the mike fork over the gap

9th place some little kid was sick on and about the gap, which ended the contest

London called

to report the defacement of this tree
This has tremendous merits boys good work -t.b.

He Looses

The Gods of the Weekend have stricken upon one of our dear comrades, Zerk. Too bad his socially fucked up coworker had to ruin the poor boy's leisure time, by calling out for the weekend to prepare for what he hopes to be, his first successful conversation with a girl.

Viva Morrissey

Infamous singer/songwriter Morrissey aka MOZ turns 50 today. I can safely assume that at one point in time, Morrissey and the Smiths fueled our souls and made us feel alive. Unfortunately, time does indeed take a toll on everybody. As the new releases get harder and harder to enjoy, the classics become more undeniable. The more you ignore the classics, the closer they stick in your brain. Pick your favorite Smiths album and rejoice. Listen to the subliminal messages and act upon them.

Die Hards:


Could Care Less:

All Mighty Eye of Dalu

This creature usually spends his leisure time marinating in the muck of Malden Park. You could say, he is the the park itself. Gus is the grassy noel, running and rolling along side a desolate soot pile, dotted with concrete waves capped with coping, that we call "the park." Or is he the miserable little tot-lot that rests awkwardly against the mircoscope-ramp? We will never really know forsure.

GBHCTOO: the word

The scene down at the local malden elephant mobile skatepark was radder than what we're used to yesterday. Mikel Miranda, built to shred, was on his way to enjoy what skating has to offer, but unfortunately was caught up with his past. While getting pulled over for a standard traffic violation, he was asked if he had ever been arrested before and truthfully answered yes for driving on a NASCAR track without the permission of Geoff Kordan. Police Officer Jake took miranda's license and looked up his record to find out the deep secret that Mikey's a wanted man by the federales. Officer Jake(badge#420) saw that mikey goes under several different aliases, such as percanda, pabbit, pabbito, spercanda, key, mikey smallstick, and the infamous kel mersh. Avoiding being arrested with sly manuevers, Mikey is being charged for smuggling commercials from Mejico, with the help of henchmen Nasty, Chewy, and other Cereous, and also assault charges in '98 on a young Nigolas Biggieler. The word is that Mikey is going to plead insanity and self defense.

P.S. 7-Eleven is the shiznit!

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Johnny Garlin, is his natural habitat.

The Continental

Oh when men were men and refused to wear Nikes! sigh.
Let's take Zerk for example, fuming over his hundred dollar drubbing at the swoosh emblazoned
fist of the many-handed Hydra, he fought back and left the game of skate shoeless. Like motherfuckin joe jackson, son. He made a mistake then he made things right. There's a lesson in this for everyone.
Zerk is our person of the week.
Also Loois' front board back-lip. I remember I handed Loois a hundred dollar bill one day.
Looking back, I wish it was a Woodrow Wilson 100,000 dollar note.

Joey GB

kisses the clown suit on GB's ninth birthday

Joey"Mary Poppins"GB, Mikel"white castle"Craver, and Myself Weese Weasel

W.S.C. Craver and Biggie argued over Wayne's reference to Johnny Rotten's novel "No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs" I got in the middle of it

I blow, joe takes the cake, hands down
GBMALDEN 2000-2009

Make it rain

to australia for one dollar

Allan GB heard of what happened and texted me today, "poois and humar go to white supremest castle?" I called Humar and asked him to tell Lan what happened. He wrote him, "we swum across the moat. Snuck in through the bottlery window. Gaffed the stored white wines. Then we hid behind the balcony window curtain over looking the great hall. Carriage Wayne was in his royal thrown and dressed in freemason attire. He announced to the other W.S. "No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs"
It's seventeen black and twenty-nine red

GB GAME OF SKATE!

THANKS EVERYONE FOR COMMING OUT TODAY! WE HAD A GREAT TURN OUT AND IT WAS ALOT OF FUN!!!!!!!!
THANKS FOR EVERYONE WHO ENTERED. CONNOR HOUDE CAME THROUGH AND TOOK 3RD. WOBURN BILLY RIPPED IT WITH SECOND AND MY MAIN MAN JAKE DOOLEY TOOK FIRST A PRIZE OF $100 DOLLARS. THANKS TO BOARDWALK SKATESHOP AND RESCUE CLOTHING COMPANY!

Bart's Burgers: Grand Opening

Bart's Burgers: have a burger you're never gonna die

To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?

the topless woman from a clockwork orange was on the wall

Lady Macbeth

change a must. london called for original gb but recall target gourmet? "haha no serious"
Out Damned Spot!

GB GAME OF SKATE!

The second ever GB Game of Skate is set for May 15th (that's this Friday)!  It's only $2 to enter this tournament-style contest (do you really not have 2 dollars?!) and the winner takes all.  If you've got good flats then this might be your chance to make enough money to buy a couple of pies or fill your gas tank.  There will be giveaways, a skate jam, and more.  Come help kick off summer in a bad way.  Thanks to Boardwalk, Rockstar, Rescue, and Next Generation.

swinehoot

fruitier then what I'm used to

GB Productions?"Can you please come here?"-Barth Burger

SWANK 3

Touchdown 3rd Down!

Shalping Gentleman

since it's ruined his life he likes this song

"do you you think it's good enough
do you think its's dangerous
mother should I be a maldenknight?"-Barth

Graveyard Shift

Chicago 11-7am this morning

prudential to skate the Picasso




Diork flew out from Germany for this



they knobbed gold, no thanks to skatestoppers.com








skating ruined his life

Something to do

So I'm takin' a dump on Malden Shitty Hall...

...on the big three, because I had me this killa waffle breakfast sandwich from Dunkin Bronuts that demanded to rip itself out of my anus without giving me time to find a proper eldery person's car to do it on. As I'm in the middle of extracting this mutha of lincoln logs, who should be walkin' out of the building but Mayor mutha fucking Howard with two of the hottest pieces of skanky Revere trash ass on each arm complete with sideways playboy hats and half-assed tans (I would learn later that the dude would approve of a plan to make the first legal whorehouse in Malden for hot Revere chick refugees to get their freak on for citizens at the rate of one spray on tan bottle an hour) .
I felt kind of bad, because the moment Mr. Mayor sees what I'm doing, he pukes all over these chicks. I pull my pants up and offer my hand to apologize, but wouldn't you know my luck, one of them broads slips on the mayor's puke and lands face first in my pile of fudge dookie. Now I feel real bad. I bend down to help her up, but apparently I didn't button up my pants right, because not only do the trousers fall down, but the boxers go with it and my junk slaps the chick in the face.
The mayor ran over to the police station next door so he could send my ass to the big house, but by the time he came back with half the police force, they all found themselves left with only a crying shit smeared Revere girl. Me and the other broad ran off and made ourselves some soon to be aborted babies and you know what? I didn't even have to pay!

Jesse Ciulla

Jesse has been one of my really good friends for a while now, I know him best for being a lover of hip hop and hater of most people. One of the more difficult people to get to know from Revere, Anyone who ever began a conversation with him is left feeling a little less sure of themselves. Thats just what jesse dose, and thats why i love him... No homo.

                           - Alex Filho

A.F.

If the city of Revere was a boy band you would be considered "the quiet one" but since we are friends i know that isn't true. Why do you think people see you that way?

J.C.

Ha! Yea i dont know i guess it takes me a while to warm up to people and it doesnt help that im friends with loudmouths like Tucka (Mike Tucker).

Mike Tucka and the man himself, Jesse Ciulla.

A.F.

Speaking of Tucka, how did you first meet him? And how do you feel about him now?

J.C.

I first met Tucka through Donny corbelle about 5 years ago. they were friends and i had just started skating with Donny around Northgate and shit. Plus he went to Revere High so i would see him in the halls all the time. He is one of my best friends and hes always down for anything, especially going to Allston. Seriously he'll go there at 2 in the morning with no plans and a 30 of miller high life and just hope that something pops off.

A.F.

You arent usually too excited about going "in town" for partys where most of the "getting buck" seems to happen, Which adds to your illusiveness. What are you usually doing instead?

J.C.

Haha, yea i guess "getting buck" isnt one of my strongpoints. While everyone else is getting buck im either skating, trying to find a party in Revere or anywhere besides "town", or sitting on my computer for hours at a time constantly lurking facebook or youtube.

A.F.

Tell us about your latest project "The Ruben".

J.C.

Well its basically the story of an epic quest for the ultimate reuben sandwich haha. I guess it came about one day when me and my buddy Richie were thinking of something funny we could film and throw on facebook and being how ridiculous some of my friends are they came up with the idea. its pretty much all improv, we just put our ideas together and run with it.

A.F.

Ive also heard you are going to be editing the new SWANK 3 video. What could we expect from that?

J.C.

Well it definitely wont be me doing all the editing i couldnt and would never want to handle all that. Its definitely going to be a 3 man job. myself, Evan Oppedisano and Donny Corbelle. You can expect a lot of progression in the skating. Weve been getting alot of footage lately and Dave Begonis has been killing it to say the least. Evan Oppedisano has been holding it down in the manuals category, and of course Donny always has super good super tech stuff. Everyone else has been killing it as well and a promo should be dropping next month.

 

Donny and Jesse open wide.

A.F.

Final Words, If you could say one thing about Revere what would it be?

J.C.

Probably that its full of great roast beef places, super hot girls, and some hidden gems for skate spots.

GB Approved

Boardwalk, GB skate shop of 2009. Welcome to a new era.

Rags to riches

Give this photo a caption and win a part of the 'den.

Summer

Summer has always been a time of mending past relationships, and creating new ones. Well, for us GB boys atleast. We are usually not content with just mending and making theses delightfully plesant relationships, we really like to smash them to peices and then proceed to taking an enourmous shit on top of the relationship rubble. Just like we do every summer.

P.S.

Come to think of it, we do this year-round!

...Or someone you murder.

Punk Rock n' Roll

Louie GB, circa 2006

Check the last trick.

5-0 dolphin flip out.