...on the big three, because I had me this killa waffle breakfast sandwich from Dunkin Bronuts that demanded to rip itself out of my anus without giving me time to find a proper eldery person's car to do it on. As I'm in the middle of extracting this mutha of lincoln logs, who should be walkin' out of the building but Mayor mutha fucking Howard with two of the hottest pieces of skanky Revere trash ass on each arm complete with sideways playboy hats and half-assed tans (I would learn later that the dude would approve of a plan to make the first legal whorehouse in Malden for hot Revere chick refugees to get their freak on for citizens at the rate of one spray on tan bottle an hour) .
I felt kind of bad, because the moment Mr. Mayor sees what I'm doing, he pukes all over these chicks. I pull my pants up and offer my hand to apologize, but wouldn't you know my luck, one of them broads slips on the mayor's puke and lands face first in my pile of fudge dookie. Now I feel real bad. I bend down to help her up, but apparently I didn't button up my pants right, because not only do the trousers fall down, but the boxers go with it and my junk slaps the chick in the face.
The mayor ran over to the police station next door so he could send my ass to the big house, but by the time he came back with half the police force, they all found themselves left with only a crying shit smeared Revere girl. Me and the other broad ran off and made ourselves some soon to be aborted babies and you know what? I didn't even have to pay!
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