Humphrey Magee

Humphrey Magee is an import figure in the gb faction.
He acieved his success and fortune simply by saying
this noteworthy phrase "Malden Slums Breed Malden Scum"

He has recently broken his leg. Until it heals,
he spends his evenings in a wheel chair, peeping
upon his neighbors across the courtyard from the
rear window of his apartment. Every day a nurse
tends to him.
She Fixes his sandwiches, gives him back massages ect.

This is a conversation between the nurse and Humphrey
caught by the hidden gb tape recorder in his apartment:
They are discussing Humphrey's troubles with his
girlfriend.


HM- No, she's just not the girl for me.

Nurse- yeah, she's only perfect.

HM- She's too perfect. She's too talented.
She's too beautiful.
She's too sophisticated.
She's too everything, but what I want.

Nurse- Is what you want something you can discuss?

HM- What? It's very simple.
She belongs to that rarefied atmosphere of Park Avenue,
Expensive restaurants and literary cocktail parties.

Nurse- People with sense belong wherever they're put.

HM- Can you imagine her tramping around the world
with a malden bum who never has more than a
week's salary in the bank? If she was only ordinary.

Nurse- You're never gonna get married?

HM- I'll probably get married one of these days,
But when I do, it's gonna be to someone who thinks of life
not just as a new dress and a lobster dinner
and the latest scandal.

I need a woman who's willing to...
Who's willing to go anywhere and do anything and love it.
So the honest thing for me to do is just call the
whole thing off. Let her find somebody else.

Nurse- yeah, I can hear you now.
"Get out of my life, you perfectly wonderful woman."